Anyone who's been into the BDSM corner of the blogosphere more than 15 minutes will realize kink is like fingerprints. Each set is unique. Even when they look the same, they're not. When you think someone is talking about the exact same fetish or activity you are, the odds are really, really good there's a subtle (or not so subtle) difference that makes it new and different from your brand.
I've known about my kinky tendencies for...probably fifteen years now, easy. A "Where's Waldo" book turned me on to bondage. I kid you not, ladies and gentlemen. I believe it was this blue book...tho the yellow and red one has some goodies too...that had a scene where kids are running rampant in a museum. One of the weird little scenes within the scenes was a guard locked in a set of stocks, barefoot, being tickled by some kids.
My unorthodox (or not really?) introduction to kinky porn. Even before girls were sexualized (they'd always been pleasant things to be around...I didn't have a "cooties" phase, to my knowledge) I was getting a hardon over a picture. How young was this? Young enough that I actually asked my mom why my penis was getting stiff while looking at those pictures.
(Yeah...I'm cringing now. I never did get an answer, something that puzzled and irked me until a few years ago.)
I could go on, but bondage...whether physical, or something imposed like house arrest or restrictions of activity, is a huge part of my kinky makeup. The helplessness of being tied down features in all my submissive fantasies. I want to be helpless, and everything else stems from that.
***
Punishment is an extension of the helplessness, I think. If someone has the authority to punish me, then I'm clearly beholden to them...and thus helpless to avoid the punishment just as if I were handcuffed to the chair. I have issues on a personal level with the "anti-punishment" sentiment I see more and more, and have even experienced in a few relationships (including my current one). It goes something like this:
"If you're going to submit, you should do so just because it's submitting. Breaking the rules is a grave, deep disrespect and should not be used to get punishment."
No offense if that (or something similar) is your mantra. Amy over at 24.7 posted something similar about this the other day, and in their situation it makes perfect sense. I'd even go as far to say it's a brilliant insight on the relationship (as if I know anything about the actual relationship).
But as for me? Getting punished is...fun. Part of the game. Nothing gets my blood pumping than being given silly, difficult to follow rules that are easy to break...because I know I'll end up being "bad" and being "set straight."
I also really get off on making those rules...it's fun to lead a sub into failure over what color socks they can wear on Tuesdays, just to "lovingly" correct them. It's part of my make up, my kink finger print.
Some things should be left alone though, and not treated in the "game" category. My collar necklace, for instance, is a symbol of more than the sum of it's parts. "Forgetting" it at home one day in order to provoke a punishment WOULD be disrespectful to the relationship. In my perfect world, there are rules that matter and rules set up just to toy with a sub's head.
But my point is...it's fun to be "in trouble." A lotta fun.
***
It's also a technique for getting attention one feels is lacking...just ask any misbehaved five year old. When they're good, mom and dad are able to do stuff that doesn't involve the kid. The kid is bad? Mom and dad have to pay attention.
Sub isn't getting spanked often enough? Not being put in the corner, tied up, made to eat veggies, etc etc etc? Well if the sub break the rules, the dominant will HAVE to punish the sub, right? Instant attention/affection/abuse!
I had one domme who made it clear I wasn't to break the rules simply to get punished. I got a lil annoyed at that...until the next part (and I paraphrase): "I don't need a reason to punish you. If you're feeling deprived of torture, all you have to do is tell me."
Not a bad compromise.
---Him
Showing posts with label kink. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kink. Show all posts
Monday, September 1, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Being Pent Up and Kink and the Dratted Schedule
One of the extensions of our kink is a fairly common one...I don't masturbate without her permission. This, predictably, leads to situations where I'm pretty pent up. Horny out of my mind, you could say.
This creates a problem (for me, anyhow) when I spend several hours a day sitting around at home after my work is done, before hers is. We text message a lot, and that helps. She's even been known to give me the go ahead to relieve pressure via text.
I don't have a problem being pent up, really. It's counter-intuitive, but tease and denial is prolly my top fetish. I thoroughly enjoy being "bottled up" and not being able to do anything about it.
But...it makes me frisky. Very frisky. I want to play, and play a lot. I want, in short, kinky sex. I start craving bondage, spankings, clothespins on nipples. I start craving assignments to scrub the kitchen floor on my knees, in handcuffs, naked. Suddenly, having to stand in the corner for a half hour is incredibly erotic.
If any of these fantasies are indulged (even just role playing them out, via text or IM), I tend to switch at some point. I start thinking about stripping a girl naked, putting her in a hogtie. Watching her crawl across the floor, bend over for a spanking. My cock gets a lil twitchy thinking about her on her knees, fixing my coffee.
The problem is, once either train of thought starts, it's VERY hard to stop them without a climax. It can be done...but usually things spiral out of control for quite some time before sleep, work, or a game becomes enough of a distraction to cool me off. Fantasies get wilder, cravings become stronger, and it's been known to put me in one of those unfulfilled bad moods.
Back to being left on my own during the latter part of the day. This is one of those unavoidable situations all real romances have...but it's possibly the biggest challenge to my side of the kink game. When I'm most wanting to put the toy bag to use, her mind is rightfully on work. When she gets home, I can't blame her for wanting to simply do nothing (I had that chance, didn't I?).
By the time her friskiness would wake up, I'm winding down...falling asleep. Many nights were barely talk to each other, never mind smack each other on the ass. Often times, the kink boils down to miscellaneous chores and errands during the day and not much else.
How does everyone out there in cyberland deal with your schedule and working in the fun? Judging by the blogs, it seems to simply be a case of "Where there's a will, there's a way"...but I know first hand how a blog can be put together to create an illusion of constant fun ;-)
---Him
This creates a problem (for me, anyhow) when I spend several hours a day sitting around at home after my work is done, before hers is. We text message a lot, and that helps. She's even been known to give me the go ahead to relieve pressure via text.
I don't have a problem being pent up, really. It's counter-intuitive, but tease and denial is prolly my top fetish. I thoroughly enjoy being "bottled up" and not being able to do anything about it.
But...it makes me frisky. Very frisky. I want to play, and play a lot. I want, in short, kinky sex. I start craving bondage, spankings, clothespins on nipples. I start craving assignments to scrub the kitchen floor on my knees, in handcuffs, naked. Suddenly, having to stand in the corner for a half hour is incredibly erotic.
If any of these fantasies are indulged (even just role playing them out, via text or IM), I tend to switch at some point. I start thinking about stripping a girl naked, putting her in a hogtie. Watching her crawl across the floor, bend over for a spanking. My cock gets a lil twitchy thinking about her on her knees, fixing my coffee.
The problem is, once either train of thought starts, it's VERY hard to stop them without a climax. It can be done...but usually things spiral out of control for quite some time before sleep, work, or a game becomes enough of a distraction to cool me off. Fantasies get wilder, cravings become stronger, and it's been known to put me in one of those unfulfilled bad moods.
Back to being left on my own during the latter part of the day. This is one of those unavoidable situations all real romances have...but it's possibly the biggest challenge to my side of the kink game. When I'm most wanting to put the toy bag to use, her mind is rightfully on work. When she gets home, I can't blame her for wanting to simply do nothing (I had that chance, didn't I?).
By the time her friskiness would wake up, I'm winding down...falling asleep. Many nights were barely talk to each other, never mind smack each other on the ass. Often times, the kink boils down to miscellaneous chores and errands during the day and not much else.
How does everyone out there in cyberland deal with your schedule and working in the fun? Judging by the blogs, it seems to simply be a case of "Where there's a will, there's a way"...but I know first hand how a blog can be put together to create an illusion of constant fun ;-)
---Him
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Sometimes...
Sometimes, I really wonder if this is the right lifestyle choice. Sometimes, I'm not so sure simply loving one another is enough to make our kink match up.
Sometimes, I feel selfish. Sometimes, I feel slighted. Sometimes, I feel on top of the world. Sometimes, I think I'm the most ridiculous person ever.
Sometimes, I want to just take of this damned collar/necklace forever. Sometimes, I wish there was more to signal what an owned submissive slut man I am.
Sometimes, it's easy. Sometimes, it's very very hard.
Sometimes, I wish I were normal. Sometimes, I wish I could live out my weirdest desires.
Sometimes, I wish I was sure it all works out when everything is averaged out.
Sometimes, I feel selfish. Sometimes, I feel slighted. Sometimes, I feel on top of the world. Sometimes, I think I'm the most ridiculous person ever.
Sometimes, I want to just take of this damned collar/necklace forever. Sometimes, I wish there was more to signal what an owned submissive slut man I am.
Sometimes, it's easy. Sometimes, it's very very hard.
Sometimes, I wish I were normal. Sometimes, I wish I could live out my weirdest desires.
Sometimes, I wish I was sure it all works out when everything is averaged out.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Saturday, November 24, 2007
And she returns.. sort of.
Hey all! I do apologize for the lack of posts, and I DO have an explanation!! I recently moved out of my over bearing parents' place. This was early November. The day that He and I were moving me in, I received a phone call, offering me a new job. Incredible news! The only problem was I just moved to this new part of town to be closer to work... well this new job is on the complete OPPOSITE end of town!!! It'll work out :)
I told him, for a time during the move and building up to it, that I wasn't really going to be in the mood for much kink, so we needed to cool it a little during the move. He was understanding and was very helpful and supportive before, during, and after the move. In fact he came up to see me last weekend and took charge right away and instigated finishing up the last major bits of unpacking. It was kind of sexy. I was embarrassed, but I got him back for it. We were kissing and teasing each other on the floor of my apartment, right in front of the open balcony windows. Now, you should know there is a golf course in my back yard, so on the weekend you have your variety of older gentlemen in khakis and Polo's donning gloves and golf club bags walking by at a decent pace. So I decided I was in the mood for a little fun.
I pulled down his sweats to reveal a very erect penis, ready for my fun! I reached for a condom out of his toy bag, unwrapped it and pulled it over him, climbed on top of him and had a good time with my little slave boy! The little moans, nervous looks towards the window, and the utterance of "Must you?!" in complete ecstasy thrilled me. There is nothing like making love where people just might see you. If you haven't tried it, you really ought to. It's a big thrill.
He's vowed to bend me over the sofa next time he's up. We'll see if it really happens. I hope so :)
Here's to healthy lifestyles,
-Her
I told him, for a time during the move and building up to it, that I wasn't really going to be in the mood for much kink, so we needed to cool it a little during the move. He was understanding and was very helpful and supportive before, during, and after the move. In fact he came up to see me last weekend and took charge right away and instigated finishing up the last major bits of unpacking. It was kind of sexy. I was embarrassed, but I got him back for it. We were kissing and teasing each other on the floor of my apartment, right in front of the open balcony windows. Now, you should know there is a golf course in my back yard, so on the weekend you have your variety of older gentlemen in khakis and Polo's donning gloves and golf club bags walking by at a decent pace. So I decided I was in the mood for a little fun.
I pulled down his sweats to reveal a very erect penis, ready for my fun! I reached for a condom out of his toy bag, unwrapped it and pulled it over him, climbed on top of him and had a good time with my little slave boy! The little moans, nervous looks towards the window, and the utterance of "Must you?!" in complete ecstasy thrilled me. There is nothing like making love where people just might see you. If you haven't tried it, you really ought to. It's a big thrill.
He's vowed to bend me over the sofa next time he's up. We'll see if it really happens. I hope so :)
Here's to healthy lifestyles,
-Her
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Switch Deluxe
Hi all. I've got an interesting development in our relationship to relay to everyone. Essentially, I've taken on the role as the primary submissive in the relationship.
We had a running conversation over the last couple weeks about submission and dominance. I've been feeling more frisky lately, and been frustrated when my attempts to dom her ended up with me pissed at such a disobediant brat and her frustrated that I'm not pushing her buttons very well.
She's also been gradually putting her foot down more, being more dominant in situations where she wants her way. Somewhere along the way she realized I was more than happy to obey her when she got all bossy with me. Even if that meant taking the lead in bed (not always my favorite).
Early last week, I kept making hints and asking permission for things during a chat. The results were amazing, in my eyes. She took right over from me, becoming micro-managing, demanding, and not allowing me any sexual relief. This put me into 7th heaven, since I don't get this sort of treatment from my sugar very often. The tighter she held onto control (forbidding me to look at other girls, keeping a notebook of infractions, sending me to bed, making me get up at a certain time) the deeper I went into sub-space.
Until we had a long chat one day in which I confessed how much I enjoyed and craved submitting to her. How much I liked her having the final say over things, how I liked knowing I was accountable to her. She told me while she enjoyed being dominated in bed, it drove her insane to have to obey someone else's orders. And how "fun" she found bossing me around.
So...the tentative arrangement was me submitting to her in general, full time. While nothing changes too much in our ordinary way of things, she does get final say. I'm obligated to listen to her instructions more closely. The "no looking" rule has been made permanent, and I'm not allowed to touch myself without her permission (and not allowed to ask for it either!).
I know there will be plenty of times she will need me to take the lead, and I embrace that as much as I embrace having to explain why I spent time looking at a classmate's feet. However, I feel so good about my new role, so happy that she official has control over me. The day after this arrangement I woke up so turned on...and so thrilled I had to control myself and stay horny for her.
I only hope I can make this as pleasurable for her as it is for me!
---Him
We had a running conversation over the last couple weeks about submission and dominance. I've been feeling more frisky lately, and been frustrated when my attempts to dom her ended up with me pissed at such a disobediant brat and her frustrated that I'm not pushing her buttons very well.
She's also been gradually putting her foot down more, being more dominant in situations where she wants her way. Somewhere along the way she realized I was more than happy to obey her when she got all bossy with me. Even if that meant taking the lead in bed (not always my favorite).
Early last week, I kept making hints and asking permission for things during a chat. The results were amazing, in my eyes. She took right over from me, becoming micro-managing, demanding, and not allowing me any sexual relief. This put me into 7th heaven, since I don't get this sort of treatment from my sugar very often. The tighter she held onto control (forbidding me to look at other girls, keeping a notebook of infractions, sending me to bed, making me get up at a certain time) the deeper I went into sub-space.
Until we had a long chat one day in which I confessed how much I enjoyed and craved submitting to her. How much I liked her having the final say over things, how I liked knowing I was accountable to her. She told me while she enjoyed being dominated in bed, it drove her insane to have to obey someone else's orders. And how "fun" she found bossing me around.
So...the tentative arrangement was me submitting to her in general, full time. While nothing changes too much in our ordinary way of things, she does get final say. I'm obligated to listen to her instructions more closely. The "no looking" rule has been made permanent, and I'm not allowed to touch myself without her permission (and not allowed to ask for it either!).
I know there will be plenty of times she will need me to take the lead, and I embrace that as much as I embrace having to explain why I spent time looking at a classmate's feet. However, I feel so good about my new role, so happy that she official has control over me. The day after this arrangement I woke up so turned on...and so thrilled I had to control myself and stay horny for her.
I only hope I can make this as pleasurable for her as it is for me!
---Him
Monday, October 8, 2007
Punishment Time
I'm not a huge fan of punishment, as a general rule. I'm idealistic in the sense that everyone should be doing what they should be doing because if they don't, then why do it at all? So not a lot of energy goes into my "normal" activities in regard to punishing people.
That's totally beside the point when it comes to her, however. Being quite a bit of the sub myself, I very much understand misbehaving just to get a rise out of the rule maker. I also understand how disappointing it is to not get punished, or to be threatened with a punishment that never materializes.
That'll happen occaisonally in bed, when in passionate moments she'll threaten to paddle me aftewards if X doesn't happen (usually my little buddy not wanting to stand up and play). Those sort of comments used to have an effect on me...but lately, I can just shrug them off since I've yet to experience the post-coitus punishment.
But no matter. Recently, there were some issues regarding our long standing rule about getting permission before she can visit with any her friends. She grew angry, and I knew she'd need to be punished. For a variety of reasons, that punishment was slow to arrive...busy at work, not wanting to use time together for BDSM...whatever. It happens, no hard feelings.
But while I was waiting for ample opportunities to give her what-for, she had taken to casual little defiances. She went out to lunch with a friend without even telling me about it, never mind getting permission first. She'd be mouthy. She'd taunt me whenever I mentioned her impending punishment. All in all, she was doing her best to piss me off. And not in any sexy, "Oh no lil boy, I'm the one in charge" sort of way. In a pain in the ass kind of way.
So when she came down, one of the first things I did was strip her naked, lay her on the bed, and spank her soundly. Here's a shot about halfway through...
Which is about where it stopped being fun for her, which was the whole point. I was really not happy with the way she'd been taunting me, and gave her very much what she had been asking for for literally weeks. By the time I was done scolding her, smacking her, making her cry out and wail, I got her to admit I'd been much worse than she expected.
Here's how she looked after I'd finished...
Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. Tho I do wish I'd kept going a bit longer...
---Him
That's totally beside the point when it comes to her, however. Being quite a bit of the sub myself, I very much understand misbehaving just to get a rise out of the rule maker. I also understand how disappointing it is to not get punished, or to be threatened with a punishment that never materializes.
That'll happen occaisonally in bed, when in passionate moments she'll threaten to paddle me aftewards if X doesn't happen (usually my little buddy not wanting to stand up and play). Those sort of comments used to have an effect on me...but lately, I can just shrug them off since I've yet to experience the post-coitus punishment.
But no matter. Recently, there were some issues regarding our long standing rule about getting permission before she can visit with any her friends. She grew angry, and I knew she'd need to be punished. For a variety of reasons, that punishment was slow to arrive...busy at work, not wanting to use time together for BDSM...whatever. It happens, no hard feelings.
But while I was waiting for ample opportunities to give her what-for, she had taken to casual little defiances. She went out to lunch with a friend without even telling me about it, never mind getting permission first. She'd be mouthy. She'd taunt me whenever I mentioned her impending punishment. All in all, she was doing her best to piss me off. And not in any sexy, "Oh no lil boy, I'm the one in charge" sort of way. In a pain in the ass kind of way.
So when she came down, one of the first things I did was strip her naked, lay her on the bed, and spank her soundly. Here's a shot about halfway through...
Which is about where it stopped being fun for her, which was the whole point. I was really not happy with the way she'd been taunting me, and gave her very much what she had been asking for for literally weeks. By the time I was done scolding her, smacking her, making her cry out and wail, I got her to admit I'd been much worse than she expected.
Here's how she looked after I'd finished...
Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. Tho I do wish I'd kept going a bit longer...
---Him
Monday, September 24, 2007
Blah
So...I'm a lil annoyed at the moment. She just chewed my hiney out for not sticking to pushups, or getting this post done earlier in the day. This is where my sub side goes to war with my "I just wanna do what I want" side.
It's tricky, too. I try to build myself into a dom role to handle her the way she likes...but then it backfires when her "I want things my way" side flares up, and I'm not exactly able to fight off her instructions. Aggravating.
This past week when she visited, I jumped her just about right away. I took her upstairs and tied her to my bed, having her suck me before I fucked her fast and hard, totally taking her for my pleasure. Then I left her, still cuffed to the bed, and went back to work. She freed herself, of course...and that was all there was to it.
We had some fun the next two days, her taking the lead mostly in bed. I was ridden quite a bit, which I've discovered is my favorite position. I was even tied up to the bed, clothespinned, during one of those rounds. THAT was an intense event.
I'm vaguely puzzled by continuing trouble getting hard for her in missionary or doggie positions. I don't understand the problem...or even if there is one. Either way, I think we have our fun.
Till next time...
---Him
It's tricky, too. I try to build myself into a dom role to handle her the way she likes...but then it backfires when her "I want things my way" side flares up, and I'm not exactly able to fight off her instructions. Aggravating.
This past week when she visited, I jumped her just about right away. I took her upstairs and tied her to my bed, having her suck me before I fucked her fast and hard, totally taking her for my pleasure. Then I left her, still cuffed to the bed, and went back to work. She freed herself, of course...and that was all there was to it.
We had some fun the next two days, her taking the lead mostly in bed. I was ridden quite a bit, which I've discovered is my favorite position. I was even tied up to the bed, clothespinned, during one of those rounds. THAT was an intense event.
I'm vaguely puzzled by continuing trouble getting hard for her in missionary or doggie positions. I don't understand the problem...or even if there is one. Either way, I think we have our fun.
Till next time...
---Him
Saturday, September 8, 2007
(I'm a) Bad Boy
I'm sitting here hard as a rock and having no idea when my next climax is gonna be. I'm loving AND hating this all at once, but I know I totally deserve it.
For the second time I disobeyed her very simple directions. After leaving her, I was told to go home and jerk off right away. I failed to do this twice in the same week...once Monday, and once Thursday. The first time, I was kept pent up for a day to teach me a lesson. It obviously didn't work, because I let myself get distracted again Thursday.
I feel bad, because I simply forgot. It was awful of me to forget her very simple direction. To let it slip my mind completely. I so deserve the frustration I'm in now, and the sub in me hopes she doesn't cut me any slack.
She's very busy at work for the next few days, same days that I'm off. This has the double effect of keeping me horny when I've got the chance to jerk off, and also while she's away. I hate being frustrated, wanting to play, and knowing she's not able. It's a very fitting punishment whether intended or not.
I'm humiliated at being punished like a lil kid, but loving it as well. I really WANT to learn my lesson and be a good boy...just...maybe in not such a torturous way?
---Him
For the second time I disobeyed her very simple directions. After leaving her, I was told to go home and jerk off right away. I failed to do this twice in the same week...once Monday, and once Thursday. The first time, I was kept pent up for a day to teach me a lesson. It obviously didn't work, because I let myself get distracted again Thursday.
I feel bad, because I simply forgot. It was awful of me to forget her very simple direction. To let it slip my mind completely. I so deserve the frustration I'm in now, and the sub in me hopes she doesn't cut me any slack.
She's very busy at work for the next few days, same days that I'm off. This has the double effect of keeping me horny when I've got the chance to jerk off, and also while she's away. I hate being frustrated, wanting to play, and knowing she's not able. It's a very fitting punishment whether intended or not.
I'm humiliated at being punished like a lil kid, but loving it as well. I really WANT to learn my lesson and be a good boy...just...maybe in not such a torturous way?
---Him
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Pink Toxins
I've got a friend who is into his own flavor of kink, and it happens to mix a little with the lifestyle my man and I have. Since this friend is a pretty close friend of mine, I have decided to link his site on our blog.
Do enjoy, it is a mainly PG site as far as photos and other things are concerned. I have linked it under "Places We Like", but I will also link it here.
Pink Toxins should be a treat for those of you who dare to explore it.
-Her
Do enjoy, it is a mainly PG site as far as photos and other things are concerned. I have linked it under "Places We Like", but I will also link it here.
Pink Toxins should be a treat for those of you who dare to explore it.
-Her
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