The Kink Fingerprint and Punishment

Anyone who's been into the BDSM corner of the blogosphere more than 15 minutes will realize kink is like fingerprints. Each set is unique. Even when they look the same, they're not. When you think someone is talking about the exact same fetish or activity you are, the odds are really, really good there's a subtle (or not so subtle) difference that makes it new and different from your brand.

I've known about my kinky tendencies for...probably fifteen years now, easy. A "Where's Waldo" book turned me on to bondage. I kid you not, ladies and gentlemen. I believe it was this blue book...tho the yellow and red one has some goodies too...that had a scene where kids are running rampant in a museum. One of the weird little scenes within the scenes was a guard locked in a set of stocks, barefoot, being tickled by some kids.

My unorthodox (or not really?) introduction to kinky porn. Even before girls were sexualized (they'd always been pleasant things to be around...I didn't have a "cooties" phase, to my knowledge) I was getting a hardon over a picture. How young was this? Young enough that I actually asked my mom why my penis was getting stiff while looking at those pictures.

(Yeah...I'm cringing now. I never did get an answer, something that puzzled and irked me until a few years ago.)

I could go on, but bondage...whether physical, or something imposed like house arrest or restrictions of activity, is a huge part of my kinky makeup. The helplessness of being tied down features in all my submissive fantasies. I want to be helpless, and everything else stems from that.

***

Punishment is an extension of the helplessness, I think. If someone has the authority to punish me, then I'm clearly beholden to them...and thus helpless to avoid the punishment just as if I were handcuffed to the chair. I have issues on a personal level with the "anti-punishment" sentiment I see more and more, and have even experienced in a few relationships (including my current one). It goes something like this:

"If you're going to submit, you should do so just because it's submitting. Breaking the rules is a grave, deep disrespect and should not be used to get punishment."

No offense if that (or something similar) is your mantra. Amy over at 24.7 posted something similar about this the other day, and in their situation it makes perfect sense. I'd even go as far to say it's a brilliant insight on the relationship (as if I know anything about the actual relationship).

But as for me? Getting punished is...fun. Part of the game. Nothing gets my blood pumping than being given silly, difficult to follow rules that are easy to break...because I know I'll end up being "bad" and being "set straight."

I also really get off on making those rules...it's fun to lead a sub into failure over what color socks they can wear on Tuesdays, just to "lovingly" correct them. It's part of my make up, my kink finger print.

Some things should be left alone though, and not treated in the "game" category. My collar necklace, for instance, is a symbol of more than the sum of it's parts. "Forgetting" it at home one day in order to provoke a punishment WOULD be disrespectful to the relationship. In my perfect world, there are rules that matter and rules set up just to toy with a sub's head.

But my point is...it's fun to be "in trouble." A lotta fun.

***

It's also a technique for getting attention one feels is lacking...just ask any misbehaved five year old. When they're good, mom and dad are able to do stuff that doesn't involve the kid. The kid is bad? Mom and dad have to pay attention.

Sub isn't getting spanked often enough? Not being put in the corner, tied up, made to eat veggies, etc etc etc? Well if the sub break the rules, the dominant will HAVE to punish the sub, right? Instant attention/affection/abuse!

I had one domme who made it clear I wasn't to break the rules simply to get punished. I got a lil annoyed at that...until the next part (and I paraphrase): "I don't need a reason to punish you. If you're feeling deprived of torture, all you have to do is tell me."

Not a bad compromise.

---Him

A Fantasy

The carpet is soft, but the back of my mind knows it won't seem so for long. The warmth of the space is comforting...for now. It almost seems cozy in this closet, with the clothes and boxes around the edges. I look up from the floor, and your smirking face in the doorway.

"You're sure about this?" I hear the tenderness in your voice. The desire not to hurt your toy, your lover, your friend.

I nod, but feel the doubts now that you opened the door to them. I feel a little silly, kneeling naked on the floor of the closet. "Yes sugar."

You hesitate another moment more, before leaning down and giving me a kiss. I kiss back, my manhood coming to life.

"Well ok then. I'll see you in 9 hours or so." You step backwards out of the closet, closing the door behind you, cutting off the light. I hear a soft click as you pop the lock into place, and I feel the delicious thrill of being trapped.

I know in just a short while I'll regret this, the isolation, the lost hours. I'll wish I had avoided the discomfort, the boredom, the frustration. But for now, it's a damn good thing my hands are tied behind me...or I'd be breaking the rules, playing with myself.

---Him

Linkage!

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Mid Week Weekend Report

Howdy hey everyone,

Since She covered some of our fun but not all of it, I guess it's a subtle way of leaving me something to blog about.

I was over on the bed reading and feeling a bit frisky, in a terribly subby kinky sort of way. She was over on the couch, watching TV. Since we were already not really hanging out together, I slipped out of my clothes, then out of bed.

After a hug and a quick snuggle... "Do you think you could tie me up?" It's still pretty hard to verbalize desires like that...but I'm getting better.

She didn't make much of a reply, so I just kept on snuggling her from the floor. After a few minutes, she decided. "Go lay down. I'll be right there."

I did as I was told, and first came the fuzzy cuffs...



and then she climbed over to strap on the velcro cuffs...



and then she left me to stew for a while.



Yep, those ARE clothespins you see. They didn't hurt very much going on...but...after a while, they really weren't pleasant.

In fact, after a undetermined period of time I was uncuffed and set to cleaning the kitchen. At that point, between the time in clothespins and the extra movement...my nipples were in sheer agony. This led to a minor temper outburst *ashamed* but I did manage to get the kitchen done before getting let loose.





Nipple play is fun, because as erotic as it is...I can't say I enjoy it, lol.

Big lesson of the day? Speak up before the situation makes me lose my cool...

---Him

Man Spanking Girl

It has been far too long since He spanked me. We had been discussing our needs and wants lately, which resulted in a lovely spanking for me almost immediately after I woke up. It wasn't vicious but it was nice and warming.



I was squirming and wriggling under his hand with every blow. Leaning to the left, He would promptly give my right cheek a firm *SMACK*. Leaning to the left, He'd slap the left cheek. He used the slapper (pictured above), ping pong paddle, wooden spoon (MAN I HATE that one!!), and flogger. I don't so much mind the flogger. It actually feels kind of nice. The light little rubber strings stinging my bottom. Periodically a curse word would leave my lips, which prompted harder smacks from Him to correct my foul language. From then on I used "C'mon!" several times. He acted like He didn't know.. Sexy, but.. ultimately frustrating!

I had expressed to Him that I was really craving more play time with Him on top. For the past month or so it had been strictly me on top. This is fun, but it leaves me wanting more. I was beginning to feel like Domming was a chore.

We were in need of a change. So we discussed everything and decided on a few things. We need to work on expressing our needs and wants on a more frequent basis. It was getting to the point where He would want a spanking but wouldn't tell me about it. Or He'd want play time but wouldn't express it. So things continued to build until we had a little chat about it. We've worked things out and are going to be committing more time to playtime and making love.

Look for a new post soon from either of us with photos of our last play session. Him tied up on the bed, clothespins on the nipples, completely naked. Quite sexy if you ask me.

Here's to healthy lifestyles!
-Her