Sometimes, I really wonder if this is the right lifestyle choice. Sometimes, I'm not so sure simply loving one another is enough to make our kink match up.
Sometimes, I feel selfish. Sometimes, I feel slighted. Sometimes, I feel on top of the world. Sometimes, I think I'm the most ridiculous person ever.
Sometimes, I want to just take of this damned collar/necklace forever. Sometimes, I wish there was more to signal what an owned submissive slut man I am.
Sometimes, it's easy. Sometimes, it's very very hard.
Sometimes, I wish I were normal. Sometimes, I wish I could live out my weirdest desires.
Sometimes, I wish I was sure it all works out when everything is averaged out.
Showing posts with label obeying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obeying. Show all posts
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Mid Week Weekend Report
Howdy hey everyone,
Since She covered some of our fun but not all of it, I guess it's a subtle way of leaving me something to blog about.
I was over on the bed reading and feeling a bit frisky, in a terribly subby kinky sort of way. She was over on the couch, watching TV. Since we were already not really hanging out together, I slipped out of my clothes, then out of bed.
After a hug and a quick snuggle... "Do you think you could tie me up?" It's still pretty hard to verbalize desires like that...but I'm getting better.
She didn't make much of a reply, so I just kept on snuggling her from the floor. After a few minutes, she decided. "Go lay down. I'll be right there."
I did as I was told, and first came the fuzzy cuffs...
and then she climbed over to strap on the velcro cuffs...
and then she left me to stew for a while.
Yep, those ARE clothespins you see. They didn't hurt very much going on...but...after a while, they really weren't pleasant.
In fact, after a undetermined period of time I was uncuffed and set to cleaning the kitchen. At that point, between the time in clothespins and the extra movement...my nipples were in sheer agony. This led to a minor temper outburst *ashamed* but I did manage to get the kitchen done before getting let loose.
Nipple play is fun, because as erotic as it is...I can't say I enjoy it, lol.
Big lesson of the day? Speak up before the situation makes me lose my cool...
---Him
Since She covered some of our fun but not all of it, I guess it's a subtle way of leaving me something to blog about.
I was over on the bed reading and feeling a bit frisky, in a terribly subby kinky sort of way. She was over on the couch, watching TV. Since we were already not really hanging out together, I slipped out of my clothes, then out of bed.
After a hug and a quick snuggle... "Do you think you could tie me up?" It's still pretty hard to verbalize desires like that...but I'm getting better.
She didn't make much of a reply, so I just kept on snuggling her from the floor. After a few minutes, she decided. "Go lay down. I'll be right there."
I did as I was told, and first came the fuzzy cuffs...
and then she climbed over to strap on the velcro cuffs...
and then she left me to stew for a while.
Yep, those ARE clothespins you see. They didn't hurt very much going on...but...after a while, they really weren't pleasant.
In fact, after a undetermined period of time I was uncuffed and set to cleaning the kitchen. At that point, between the time in clothespins and the extra movement...my nipples were in sheer agony. This led to a minor temper outburst *ashamed* but I did manage to get the kitchen done before getting let loose.
Nipple play is fun, because as erotic as it is...I can't say I enjoy it, lol.
Big lesson of the day? Speak up before the situation makes me lose my cool...
---Him
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Change and Renewal Episode 1, a Story
Hi everyone...
The creative energies have struck again. I've a serial story in the works, and I think this is an appropriate venue to post! Enjoy, and feedback is always welcome.
"Change and Renewal" Episode 1
It had been three years since I’d stood in front of her house. Three years since last turning into the drive. Three years since last walking up the path. Three years since ringing the door bell. Three years since feeling this nervous.
The length of time seemed impossibly long, partly because I had so little contact with Susanne since then. During many break ups in my life, I had done what might be called stalking. Driving past the girl’s house for a last look, or bumping into her where she works. With Susanne it was cold turkey. I didn’t so much as drive through her end of town.
At the same time, it felt just like yesterday I’d stood there last. Before our breakup, Susanne and I had spent nearly every night in her house. We’d meet at almost the same time each day, spend the same amount of time together. Our routine would be the same each time, even down to our meals. The constant repetition reinforced the illusion that we had been doing these things forever. Slipping into the same old routine made me feel like I’d never stopped.
Susanne swung open her screen door, interrupting my musing. Framed by the peeling white paint of the doorway, she smirked at me while I checked her out. I was looking for things that had changed since I’d seen her last, but was struck by what hadn’t changed. Her hair was the same brown, hanging straight to the middle of her back. Susanne wore a t-shirt I remembered from our final evening, and the way her breasts pressed against the fabric was like coming home. My eyes followed her curves past her hips, and down her long legs till I saw her bare feet. Bright silver chain around her tan ankle battled with her bright pink toes for attention.
Susanne’s smirk melted into a smile. “You came.”
I gazed up into her coffee and cream eyes, walking to the edge of the porch steps. “I don’t think I’ve ever lied to you. I don’t know why you had doubts.”
Crossing her arms over her perky breasts, Susanne tilted her head. “Never doubting you. Just…very happy.”
I stepped on the first stair, ready to climb up to her. Susanne picked up a yard stick I hadn’t seen, and brought it down on the top of my head before I managed to put my weight down. I yelped, more out of surprise than pain, and gave her a hurt look.
“Did I tell you to come up here?” The smile was gone from her lips. Her eyes hardened. “I thought you understood what your role was.”
I felt tears pricking my eyes. I blinked them away, amazed at my reaction. “I’m sorry, Mistress. I know what we discussed. I know my place. I don’t know why I forgot it. I just missed you—“
Another tap with the yard stick on my head. “Stop that. Stop making excuses. I missed you too, silly boy. And now I’m going to have to wait to hug you until you’ve been corrected.”
The tears were back, both at having disappointed Susanne so soon and the idea of waiting for her welcoming embrace. I also felt my face burning, but I couldn’t tell if I was more ashamed of the reproof or of the tears. “Yes ma’am.”
Susanne looked up and down the road. It was just after sunset, plenty of light out. The paved, unlined road was a dead end that ran for about two miles through stands of trees. Susanne lived in a house located among a cluster of houses and trailers. The houses weren’t butting up against each other, but everyone could see everyone else’s business if they were so inclined.
“I was hoping not to risk humiliating you like this, but I think you’re going to need more training than we both thought.” Susanne sighed as if disappointed, but I saw the evil crinkle around her eyes. “Strip, then fold and place your clothes neatly on the bottom step. After you do that, kneel there and call for me.”
I felt my stomach freeze over as Susanne turned without another word and walked into the house, letting the screen door bang behind her.
***
From: knot_master@*********.net
To: cute_buns63@*****.com
Subj: How’re you?
Hey Suzanne---
I know it’s been a while, but I was thinking about you today. Just wondering how you are, what you’ve been up to since we talk last. Catch you later,
---Mike
To be Continued Next Week...
---Him
The creative energies have struck again. I've a serial story in the works, and I think this is an appropriate venue to post! Enjoy, and feedback is always welcome.
"Change and Renewal" Episode 1
It had been three years since I’d stood in front of her house. Three years since last turning into the drive. Three years since last walking up the path. Three years since ringing the door bell. Three years since feeling this nervous.
The length of time seemed impossibly long, partly because I had so little contact with Susanne since then. During many break ups in my life, I had done what might be called stalking. Driving past the girl’s house for a last look, or bumping into her where she works. With Susanne it was cold turkey. I didn’t so much as drive through her end of town.
At the same time, it felt just like yesterday I’d stood there last. Before our breakup, Susanne and I had spent nearly every night in her house. We’d meet at almost the same time each day, spend the same amount of time together. Our routine would be the same each time, even down to our meals. The constant repetition reinforced the illusion that we had been doing these things forever. Slipping into the same old routine made me feel like I’d never stopped.
Susanne swung open her screen door, interrupting my musing. Framed by the peeling white paint of the doorway, she smirked at me while I checked her out. I was looking for things that had changed since I’d seen her last, but was struck by what hadn’t changed. Her hair was the same brown, hanging straight to the middle of her back. Susanne wore a t-shirt I remembered from our final evening, and the way her breasts pressed against the fabric was like coming home. My eyes followed her curves past her hips, and down her long legs till I saw her bare feet. Bright silver chain around her tan ankle battled with her bright pink toes for attention.
Susanne’s smirk melted into a smile. “You came.”
I gazed up into her coffee and cream eyes, walking to the edge of the porch steps. “I don’t think I’ve ever lied to you. I don’t know why you had doubts.”
Crossing her arms over her perky breasts, Susanne tilted her head. “Never doubting you. Just…very happy.”
I stepped on the first stair, ready to climb up to her. Susanne picked up a yard stick I hadn’t seen, and brought it down on the top of my head before I managed to put my weight down. I yelped, more out of surprise than pain, and gave her a hurt look.
“Did I tell you to come up here?” The smile was gone from her lips. Her eyes hardened. “I thought you understood what your role was.”
I felt tears pricking my eyes. I blinked them away, amazed at my reaction. “I’m sorry, Mistress. I know what we discussed. I know my place. I don’t know why I forgot it. I just missed you—“
Another tap with the yard stick on my head. “Stop that. Stop making excuses. I missed you too, silly boy. And now I’m going to have to wait to hug you until you’ve been corrected.”
The tears were back, both at having disappointed Susanne so soon and the idea of waiting for her welcoming embrace. I also felt my face burning, but I couldn’t tell if I was more ashamed of the reproof or of the tears. “Yes ma’am.”
Susanne looked up and down the road. It was just after sunset, plenty of light out. The paved, unlined road was a dead end that ran for about two miles through stands of trees. Susanne lived in a house located among a cluster of houses and trailers. The houses weren’t butting up against each other, but everyone could see everyone else’s business if they were so inclined.
“I was hoping not to risk humiliating you like this, but I think you’re going to need more training than we both thought.” Susanne sighed as if disappointed, but I saw the evil crinkle around her eyes. “Strip, then fold and place your clothes neatly on the bottom step. After you do that, kneel there and call for me.”
I felt my stomach freeze over as Susanne turned without another word and walked into the house, letting the screen door bang behind her.
***
From: knot_master@*********.net
To: cute_buns63@*****.com
Subj: How’re you?
Hey Suzanne---
I know it’s been a while, but I was thinking about you today. Just wondering how you are, what you’ve been up to since we talk last. Catch you later,
---Mike
To be Continued Next Week...
---Him
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Switch Deluxe
Hi all. I've got an interesting development in our relationship to relay to everyone. Essentially, I've taken on the role as the primary submissive in the relationship.
We had a running conversation over the last couple weeks about submission and dominance. I've been feeling more frisky lately, and been frustrated when my attempts to dom her ended up with me pissed at such a disobediant brat and her frustrated that I'm not pushing her buttons very well.
She's also been gradually putting her foot down more, being more dominant in situations where she wants her way. Somewhere along the way she realized I was more than happy to obey her when she got all bossy with me. Even if that meant taking the lead in bed (not always my favorite).
Early last week, I kept making hints and asking permission for things during a chat. The results were amazing, in my eyes. She took right over from me, becoming micro-managing, demanding, and not allowing me any sexual relief. This put me into 7th heaven, since I don't get this sort of treatment from my sugar very often. The tighter she held onto control (forbidding me to look at other girls, keeping a notebook of infractions, sending me to bed, making me get up at a certain time) the deeper I went into sub-space.
Until we had a long chat one day in which I confessed how much I enjoyed and craved submitting to her. How much I liked her having the final say over things, how I liked knowing I was accountable to her. She told me while she enjoyed being dominated in bed, it drove her insane to have to obey someone else's orders. And how "fun" she found bossing me around.
So...the tentative arrangement was me submitting to her in general, full time. While nothing changes too much in our ordinary way of things, she does get final say. I'm obligated to listen to her instructions more closely. The "no looking" rule has been made permanent, and I'm not allowed to touch myself without her permission (and not allowed to ask for it either!).
I know there will be plenty of times she will need me to take the lead, and I embrace that as much as I embrace having to explain why I spent time looking at a classmate's feet. However, I feel so good about my new role, so happy that she official has control over me. The day after this arrangement I woke up so turned on...and so thrilled I had to control myself and stay horny for her.
I only hope I can make this as pleasurable for her as it is for me!
---Him
We had a running conversation over the last couple weeks about submission and dominance. I've been feeling more frisky lately, and been frustrated when my attempts to dom her ended up with me pissed at such a disobediant brat and her frustrated that I'm not pushing her buttons very well.
She's also been gradually putting her foot down more, being more dominant in situations where she wants her way. Somewhere along the way she realized I was more than happy to obey her when she got all bossy with me. Even if that meant taking the lead in bed (not always my favorite).
Early last week, I kept making hints and asking permission for things during a chat. The results were amazing, in my eyes. She took right over from me, becoming micro-managing, demanding, and not allowing me any sexual relief. This put me into 7th heaven, since I don't get this sort of treatment from my sugar very often. The tighter she held onto control (forbidding me to look at other girls, keeping a notebook of infractions, sending me to bed, making me get up at a certain time) the deeper I went into sub-space.
Until we had a long chat one day in which I confessed how much I enjoyed and craved submitting to her. How much I liked her having the final say over things, how I liked knowing I was accountable to her. She told me while she enjoyed being dominated in bed, it drove her insane to have to obey someone else's orders. And how "fun" she found bossing me around.
So...the tentative arrangement was me submitting to her in general, full time. While nothing changes too much in our ordinary way of things, she does get final say. I'm obligated to listen to her instructions more closely. The "no looking" rule has been made permanent, and I'm not allowed to touch myself without her permission (and not allowed to ask for it either!).
I know there will be plenty of times she will need me to take the lead, and I embrace that as much as I embrace having to explain why I spent time looking at a classmate's feet. However, I feel so good about my new role, so happy that she official has control over me. The day after this arrangement I woke up so turned on...and so thrilled I had to control myself and stay horny for her.
I only hope I can make this as pleasurable for her as it is for me!
---Him
Monday, October 8, 2007
Punishment Time
I'm not a huge fan of punishment, as a general rule. I'm idealistic in the sense that everyone should be doing what they should be doing because if they don't, then why do it at all? So not a lot of energy goes into my "normal" activities in regard to punishing people.
That's totally beside the point when it comes to her, however. Being quite a bit of the sub myself, I very much understand misbehaving just to get a rise out of the rule maker. I also understand how disappointing it is to not get punished, or to be threatened with a punishment that never materializes.
That'll happen occaisonally in bed, when in passionate moments she'll threaten to paddle me aftewards if X doesn't happen (usually my little buddy not wanting to stand up and play). Those sort of comments used to have an effect on me...but lately, I can just shrug them off since I've yet to experience the post-coitus punishment.
But no matter. Recently, there were some issues regarding our long standing rule about getting permission before she can visit with any her friends. She grew angry, and I knew she'd need to be punished. For a variety of reasons, that punishment was slow to arrive...busy at work, not wanting to use time together for BDSM...whatever. It happens, no hard feelings.
But while I was waiting for ample opportunities to give her what-for, she had taken to casual little defiances. She went out to lunch with a friend without even telling me about it, never mind getting permission first. She'd be mouthy. She'd taunt me whenever I mentioned her impending punishment. All in all, she was doing her best to piss me off. And not in any sexy, "Oh no lil boy, I'm the one in charge" sort of way. In a pain in the ass kind of way.
So when she came down, one of the first things I did was strip her naked, lay her on the bed, and spank her soundly. Here's a shot about halfway through...
Which is about where it stopped being fun for her, which was the whole point. I was really not happy with the way she'd been taunting me, and gave her very much what she had been asking for for literally weeks. By the time I was done scolding her, smacking her, making her cry out and wail, I got her to admit I'd been much worse than she expected.
Here's how she looked after I'd finished...
Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. Tho I do wish I'd kept going a bit longer...
---Him
That's totally beside the point when it comes to her, however. Being quite a bit of the sub myself, I very much understand misbehaving just to get a rise out of the rule maker. I also understand how disappointing it is to not get punished, or to be threatened with a punishment that never materializes.
That'll happen occaisonally in bed, when in passionate moments she'll threaten to paddle me aftewards if X doesn't happen (usually my little buddy not wanting to stand up and play). Those sort of comments used to have an effect on me...but lately, I can just shrug them off since I've yet to experience the post-coitus punishment.
But no matter. Recently, there were some issues regarding our long standing rule about getting permission before she can visit with any her friends. She grew angry, and I knew she'd need to be punished. For a variety of reasons, that punishment was slow to arrive...busy at work, not wanting to use time together for BDSM...whatever. It happens, no hard feelings.
But while I was waiting for ample opportunities to give her what-for, she had taken to casual little defiances. She went out to lunch with a friend without even telling me about it, never mind getting permission first. She'd be mouthy. She'd taunt me whenever I mentioned her impending punishment. All in all, she was doing her best to piss me off. And not in any sexy, "Oh no lil boy, I'm the one in charge" sort of way. In a pain in the ass kind of way.
So when she came down, one of the first things I did was strip her naked, lay her on the bed, and spank her soundly. Here's a shot about halfway through...
Which is about where it stopped being fun for her, which was the whole point. I was really not happy with the way she'd been taunting me, and gave her very much what she had been asking for for literally weeks. By the time I was done scolding her, smacking her, making her cry out and wail, I got her to admit I'd been much worse than she expected.
Here's how she looked after I'd finished...
Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. Tho I do wish I'd kept going a bit longer...
---Him
Monday, September 24, 2007
Blah
So...I'm a lil annoyed at the moment. She just chewed my hiney out for not sticking to pushups, or getting this post done earlier in the day. This is where my sub side goes to war with my "I just wanna do what I want" side.
It's tricky, too. I try to build myself into a dom role to handle her the way she likes...but then it backfires when her "I want things my way" side flares up, and I'm not exactly able to fight off her instructions. Aggravating.
This past week when she visited, I jumped her just about right away. I took her upstairs and tied her to my bed, having her suck me before I fucked her fast and hard, totally taking her for my pleasure. Then I left her, still cuffed to the bed, and went back to work. She freed herself, of course...and that was all there was to it.
We had some fun the next two days, her taking the lead mostly in bed. I was ridden quite a bit, which I've discovered is my favorite position. I was even tied up to the bed, clothespinned, during one of those rounds. THAT was an intense event.
I'm vaguely puzzled by continuing trouble getting hard for her in missionary or doggie positions. I don't understand the problem...or even if there is one. Either way, I think we have our fun.
Till next time...
---Him
It's tricky, too. I try to build myself into a dom role to handle her the way she likes...but then it backfires when her "I want things my way" side flares up, and I'm not exactly able to fight off her instructions. Aggravating.
This past week when she visited, I jumped her just about right away. I took her upstairs and tied her to my bed, having her suck me before I fucked her fast and hard, totally taking her for my pleasure. Then I left her, still cuffed to the bed, and went back to work. She freed herself, of course...and that was all there was to it.
We had some fun the next two days, her taking the lead mostly in bed. I was ridden quite a bit, which I've discovered is my favorite position. I was even tied up to the bed, clothespinned, during one of those rounds. THAT was an intense event.
I'm vaguely puzzled by continuing trouble getting hard for her in missionary or doggie positions. I don't understand the problem...or even if there is one. Either way, I think we have our fun.
Till next time...
---Him
Saturday, September 8, 2007
(I'm a) Bad Boy
I'm sitting here hard as a rock and having no idea when my next climax is gonna be. I'm loving AND hating this all at once, but I know I totally deserve it.
For the second time I disobeyed her very simple directions. After leaving her, I was told to go home and jerk off right away. I failed to do this twice in the same week...once Monday, and once Thursday. The first time, I was kept pent up for a day to teach me a lesson. It obviously didn't work, because I let myself get distracted again Thursday.
I feel bad, because I simply forgot. It was awful of me to forget her very simple direction. To let it slip my mind completely. I so deserve the frustration I'm in now, and the sub in me hopes she doesn't cut me any slack.
She's very busy at work for the next few days, same days that I'm off. This has the double effect of keeping me horny when I've got the chance to jerk off, and also while she's away. I hate being frustrated, wanting to play, and knowing she's not able. It's a very fitting punishment whether intended or not.
I'm humiliated at being punished like a lil kid, but loving it as well. I really WANT to learn my lesson and be a good boy...just...maybe in not such a torturous way?
---Him
For the second time I disobeyed her very simple directions. After leaving her, I was told to go home and jerk off right away. I failed to do this twice in the same week...once Monday, and once Thursday. The first time, I was kept pent up for a day to teach me a lesson. It obviously didn't work, because I let myself get distracted again Thursday.
I feel bad, because I simply forgot. It was awful of me to forget her very simple direction. To let it slip my mind completely. I so deserve the frustration I'm in now, and the sub in me hopes she doesn't cut me any slack.
She's very busy at work for the next few days, same days that I'm off. This has the double effect of keeping me horny when I've got the chance to jerk off, and also while she's away. I hate being frustrated, wanting to play, and knowing she's not able. It's a very fitting punishment whether intended or not.
I'm humiliated at being punished like a lil kid, but loving it as well. I really WANT to learn my lesson and be a good boy...just...maybe in not such a torturous way?
---Him
Thursday, July 12, 2007
On Vacation
I'm still out of state, but finding some time to write about things. Well, I actually got ordered to...but...y'know ;-)
It's been a bit of a rough trip. But a bright point has been how well behaved my baby has been. I've been more or less the dom the entire time, with overriding rules for her while I'm away (and maybe longer, if I deem appropriate!)
That hasn't stopped lil power plays during our conversations tho. I've had a bit of a trouble looking at feet I shouldn't...and she leveraged my "bad boy" status on this issue into making me feel subby enough to give her back masturbation priviledges. I've tried to be tough and stay on top for her, but...y'know. Sometimes you can't block the message from the sub-button, as I've taken to calling it.
Certain ways she has of saying things, comments she makes, "suggestions" she offers...such as "Why don't you do a blog tonight? That's an order"...that just make the urge to submit to her nearly overwhelming. While I'm gone I'm doing my best to resist them, at least mostly. I promised I wouldn't show my belly and let her off the hook, and I have no intentions of it.
But that seems to be a totally different issue from writing a blog because she told me, or enduring a lecture about where my eyes and thoughts should be. I know I could prolly rise up and push her back down...but it's hard over the phone line, and it's hard when my default with a beautiful girl is to cast my eyes down and demure with, "Yes Mistress."
But you can bet your hiney she's gonna catch it GOOD when I finally get back to her, just for pushing that button so liberally! (Tho I wonder if that'll just encourage her more...)
---Him
It's been a bit of a rough trip. But a bright point has been how well behaved my baby has been. I've been more or less the dom the entire time, with overriding rules for her while I'm away (and maybe longer, if I deem appropriate!)
That hasn't stopped lil power plays during our conversations tho. I've had a bit of a trouble looking at feet I shouldn't...and she leveraged my "bad boy" status on this issue into making me feel subby enough to give her back masturbation priviledges. I've tried to be tough and stay on top for her, but...y'know. Sometimes you can't block the message from the sub-button, as I've taken to calling it.
Certain ways she has of saying things, comments she makes, "suggestions" she offers...such as "Why don't you do a blog tonight? That's an order"...that just make the urge to submit to her nearly overwhelming. While I'm gone I'm doing my best to resist them, at least mostly. I promised I wouldn't show my belly and let her off the hook, and I have no intentions of it.
But that seems to be a totally different issue from writing a blog because she told me, or enduring a lecture about where my eyes and thoughts should be. I know I could prolly rise up and push her back down...but it's hard over the phone line, and it's hard when my default with a beautiful girl is to cast my eyes down and demure with, "Yes Mistress."
But you can bet your hiney she's gonna catch it GOOD when I finally get back to her, just for pushing that button so liberally! (Tho I wonder if that'll just encourage her more...)
---Him
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
In a Collar
I'm wearing a collar for her at the moment.
It feels...good. So good.
As dominant as I felt today, and as much as I directed her in most tasks today...I'm craving to be at her feet right now. Even if she doesn't do anything more than pat me idly while watching TV, I want to be near her, ready to do her bidding...
It started early on in our conversation today, when she started hinting at not letting me climax until Saturday (*moans*). I know I did the exact same thing to her last week...but...that's not much comfort. Having that reminder of how she controls such an intimate part of my life started pushing my sub buttons, even as I plotted and planned how to torture her when we saw each other next.
Lil comments here and there, about teaching me a lesson about "shouting" during IM conversation, being "petted," then sharing my submissive feelings which were then encouraged by her. I sent her a pic of the undies I was wearing...and as they're awfully revealing she started talking about sending me outside for lil chores with nothing but them on. This melted me even more, until I was sending her a picture of a Humbler and discussing cock rings...
What I love about her so much is that when I "complained" about being too submissive, she teased me: "Well come put me on my knees baby." When I declined (respectfully...she's the Mistress after all...) she switched gears altogether, sending me to put my collar on and starting to instruct me more closely.
Which is where I am now. Until she'll keep teasing me, I have to finish this entry I promised her before bed tonight. It feels almost humiliating, but in such a good way, to be sitting here in my underwear wearing a collar for the same woman I had naked cleaning her kitchen this afternoon. It's mind boggling...but so yummy.
Right now, I simply crave her attention and her approval. Her torment, too...I want her to tease and torture me for her enjoyment--I know, it's not genuine submission to want something specific for her enjoyment, but I think we can common ground on that part. We know each role is about pleasing each other as much as ourselves.
I confessed earlier to wanting her to hurt me, and she was surprized at some of the things I was bringing up. CBT, plucking body hair, hot wax. I'm not, as a general rule, a huge masochist...but some people have brought that out in me. She does that, she makes me want to surrender to anything she can do to me...whether that's going to make me moan and gasp, or whimper and scream.
I love her, and hopes she offers her helplessly devoted boy little mercy tonight, and every night until she grants me an orgasm.
---Him
It feels...good. So good.
As dominant as I felt today, and as much as I directed her in most tasks today...I'm craving to be at her feet right now. Even if she doesn't do anything more than pat me idly while watching TV, I want to be near her, ready to do her bidding...
It started early on in our conversation today, when she started hinting at not letting me climax until Saturday (*moans*). I know I did the exact same thing to her last week...but...that's not much comfort. Having that reminder of how she controls such an intimate part of my life started pushing my sub buttons, even as I plotted and planned how to torture her when we saw each other next.
Lil comments here and there, about teaching me a lesson about "shouting" during IM conversation, being "petted," then sharing my submissive feelings which were then encouraged by her. I sent her a pic of the undies I was wearing...and as they're awfully revealing she started talking about sending me outside for lil chores with nothing but them on. This melted me even more, until I was sending her a picture of a Humbler and discussing cock rings...
What I love about her so much is that when I "complained" about being too submissive, she teased me: "Well come put me on my knees baby." When I declined (respectfully...she's the Mistress after all...) she switched gears altogether, sending me to put my collar on and starting to instruct me more closely.
Which is where I am now. Until she'll keep teasing me, I have to finish this entry I promised her before bed tonight. It feels almost humiliating, but in such a good way, to be sitting here in my underwear wearing a collar for the same woman I had naked cleaning her kitchen this afternoon. It's mind boggling...but so yummy.
Right now, I simply crave her attention and her approval. Her torment, too...I want her to tease and torture me for her enjoyment--I know, it's not genuine submission to want something specific for her enjoyment, but I think we can common ground on that part. We know each role is about pleasing each other as much as ourselves.
I confessed earlier to wanting her to hurt me, and she was surprized at some of the things I was bringing up. CBT, plucking body hair, hot wax. I'm not, as a general rule, a huge masochist...but some people have brought that out in me. She does that, she makes me want to surrender to anything she can do to me...whether that's going to make me moan and gasp, or whimper and scream.
I love her, and hopes she offers her helplessly devoted boy little mercy tonight, and every night until she grants me an orgasm.
---Him
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
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