Musings on Submission, an Intro

Every now and then I feel the need to review what "submission" means to me. This is one of those times...lucky for you, dear reader.

Years ago, in my quest to find something as mundane and dull as pictures of cruel women torturing errant boys, I came across Ms. Rika. Her website, Uniquely Rika, opened the door to some serious introspection about myself and my identity as a "submissive male." Ms. Rika, being a lifestyle domme, had a take on submission and domination so different from the stuff I'd previously seen on the web it blew me away.

It was from her essay, True Submission, that I learned the difference between "lifestyle" and "scene play" d/s. I knew there were people out there were in lifestyle relationships, but till that point I'd somehow believed it was pretty much all sexy spankings and licking the floor clean (hey, I was young and horny...don't judge). Ms. Rika pointed out some really, really good points from the domme's point of view that made me stop and think.

Things like how tiring it is to be constantly thinking of ways to torture a sub. How if the focus is on doing kinky bad things to the slave, isn't the Mistress actually serving the slave? If submission is about surrendering control, why are so many submissive males insistent about how they are "degraded?"

I read all of Ms. Rika's essays, a few times each. I genuinely felt like a moron for how I'd thought about submission previously. Borderline ashamed, really, for the fantasies about finding a full time Mistress who'd do nothing but boss me around. I was confused, because like Ms. Rika points out, I'd honestly thought that was submission. I had to redefine what I meant by submitting...and all I really knew was what it wasn't anymore.

So the next few posts I'm going to dig into the meat and potatoes of my thoughts on this. While doing so, kindly don't take offense if I reject out of hand a concept or choice that's dear to your heart...I'm not passing judgement. Everyone's gotta do what they gotta do. Consider this...merely thinking out loud for your enjoyment.

And for anyone waiting for the next installment of "Change and Renewal," it's coming next Tuesday as scheduled!

Till next time...

---Him