MBS Spanko Brunch Musings

Howdy everyone. I know it's been a better part of a week since anyone's heard tell of us, but that's just how it goes sometimes, sadly.

She is right in the middle of a move (not closer to me, sadly) and hasn't been able to find the time to post. My coursework has been sucking my soul, and so posting hasn't been at the top of my list either. Sorry to all if we're boring you!

Now onto the Brunch. This week's question:

"Do you think it's reasonable for a spankee to ask to be spanked? During the course of a spanking, may the spankee ask for more swats or greater intensity? Have you asked or been asked? What was the spanker's response?"

I've been in situations of "scene play" where it's been "disrespectful" and "out of place" to make any requests for the spankee's/sub's desires in mind, and think that can be lots of fun. "Forcing" someone, or being "forced," to think and act contrary to one's desires is part of the charm of BDSM for me. Not asking for what one wants because one is submitting to another's desires can be an enjoyable aspect of things.

But at the same time, in a long term romance everyone's needs and desires need to be respected and fulfilled. Sometimes it's hard to watch for the little signs that she needs a spanking. Often times she doesn't have a single thought towards spanking me unless I bring it up. If no one asked for what they need, it's hard for everyone to be happy.

As for during a spanking, it's fun to see if I can spank her as hard as she asks for. I like it when she asks for worse...I don't feel obligated to do it always, but it can be fun to see if I can actually spank as well as she wants. The couple times I've been under her hand, I've been compelled to ask for more...didn't quite get it as bad as I was hoping, I have to say, but she did oblige in picking up the intensity for me.

In either case, I think it's just part of the healthy communication between a couple, not unlike one partner asking for sex or a hug. Depending on the details (are the spankings for the spanker's pleasure, or the spankee's? Is this playtime, or punishment?) is where the gray area is. I think the spankee should always feel free to ask, but not necessarily expect to be accomodated. A big chunk of the spanking experience is not being in total control.

Thanks to Bonnie for another great topic!

---Him