And she returns.. sort of.

Hey all! I do apologize for the lack of posts, and I DO have an explanation!! I recently moved out of my over bearing parents' place. This was early November. The day that He and I were moving me in, I received a phone call, offering me a new job. Incredible news! The only problem was I just moved to this new part of town to be closer to work... well this new job is on the complete OPPOSITE end of town!!! It'll work out :)

I told him, for a time during the move and building up to it, that I wasn't really going to be in the mood for much kink, so we needed to cool it a little during the move. He was understanding and was very helpful and supportive before, during, and after the move. In fact he came up to see me last weekend and took charge right away and instigated finishing up the last major bits of unpacking. It was kind of sexy. I was embarrassed, but I got him back for it. We were kissing and teasing each other on the floor of my apartment, right in front of the open balcony windows. Now, you should know there is a golf course in my back yard, so on the weekend you have your variety of older gentlemen in khakis and Polo's donning gloves and golf club bags walking by at a decent pace. So I decided I was in the mood for a little fun.

I pulled down his sweats to reveal a very erect penis, ready for my fun! I reached for a condom out of his toy bag, unwrapped it and pulled it over him, climbed on top of him and had a good time with my little slave boy! The little moans, nervous looks towards the window, and the utterance of "Must you?!" in complete ecstasy thrilled me. There is nothing like making love where people just might see you. If you haven't tried it, you really ought to. It's a big thrill.

He's vowed to bend me over the sofa next time he's up. We'll see if it really happens. I hope so :)

Here's to healthy lifestyles,
-Her

Musings on Submission, an Intro

Every now and then I feel the need to review what "submission" means to me. This is one of those times...lucky for you, dear reader.

Years ago, in my quest to find something as mundane and dull as pictures of cruel women torturing errant boys, I came across Ms. Rika. Her website, Uniquely Rika, opened the door to some serious introspection about myself and my identity as a "submissive male." Ms. Rika, being a lifestyle domme, had a take on submission and domination so different from the stuff I'd previously seen on the web it blew me away.

It was from her essay, True Submission, that I learned the difference between "lifestyle" and "scene play" d/s. I knew there were people out there were in lifestyle relationships, but till that point I'd somehow believed it was pretty much all sexy spankings and licking the floor clean (hey, I was young and horny...don't judge). Ms. Rika pointed out some really, really good points from the domme's point of view that made me stop and think.

Things like how tiring it is to be constantly thinking of ways to torture a sub. How if the focus is on doing kinky bad things to the slave, isn't the Mistress actually serving the slave? If submission is about surrendering control, why are so many submissive males insistent about how they are "degraded?"

I read all of Ms. Rika's essays, a few times each. I genuinely felt like a moron for how I'd thought about submission previously. Borderline ashamed, really, for the fantasies about finding a full time Mistress who'd do nothing but boss me around. I was confused, because like Ms. Rika points out, I'd honestly thought that was submission. I had to redefine what I meant by submitting...and all I really knew was what it wasn't anymore.

So the next few posts I'm going to dig into the meat and potatoes of my thoughts on this. While doing so, kindly don't take offense if I reject out of hand a concept or choice that's dear to your heart...I'm not passing judgement. Everyone's gotta do what they gotta do. Consider this...merely thinking out loud for your enjoyment.

And for anyone waiting for the next installment of "Change and Renewal," it's coming next Tuesday as scheduled!

Till next time...

---Him

MBS Spanko Brunch: Switching

Apologies again for the lack of posting...between her moving, and my own extracurricular committments it's been a busy busy week!

Question posed by Bonnie...

"Do you and your partner ever switch roles? If so, is it a fifty-fifty arrangement or an occasional change of pace? Do you each have a preferred role?"

We switch, so much in fact it's never clear who's getting the next spanking!

I enjoy giving the spankings at least as much as I like to get them. Most of my kink background has been in the femdom area, and much of our relationship is with her on top...but that doesn't affect how I enjoy smacking her ass. I get a deep satisfaction out of turning her bottom nice and rosy, and even more out of the wiggles, squirms, and even curses I get out of her when I get down to business. It's just lovely!

Fortunately, I'm blessed with a friend and partner who's willing to step outside her normal comfort zone and spank ME. When we first began to date, she told me a few times she could never imagine spanking the man in a relationship...but just this past Friday I got quite a thorough backside warming. I don't think it ranks high on her favorite activities list...but that doesn't seem to stop her from getting me regularly!

Thanks again for a nice question, Bonnie...can't wait to see what comes next week!

Thanks for everyone who's been keeping up on our adventures, and hopefully you'll get more reading fodder (including her account of my recent spanking) very soon!

---Him

MBS Spanko Brunch Musings

Howdy everyone. I know it's been a better part of a week since anyone's heard tell of us, but that's just how it goes sometimes, sadly.

She is right in the middle of a move (not closer to me, sadly) and hasn't been able to find the time to post. My coursework has been sucking my soul, and so posting hasn't been at the top of my list either. Sorry to all if we're boring you!

Now onto the Brunch. This week's question:

"Do you think it's reasonable for a spankee to ask to be spanked? During the course of a spanking, may the spankee ask for more swats or greater intensity? Have you asked or been asked? What was the spanker's response?"

I've been in situations of "scene play" where it's been "disrespectful" and "out of place" to make any requests for the spankee's/sub's desires in mind, and think that can be lots of fun. "Forcing" someone, or being "forced," to think and act contrary to one's desires is part of the charm of BDSM for me. Not asking for what one wants because one is submitting to another's desires can be an enjoyable aspect of things.

But at the same time, in a long term romance everyone's needs and desires need to be respected and fulfilled. Sometimes it's hard to watch for the little signs that she needs a spanking. Often times she doesn't have a single thought towards spanking me unless I bring it up. If no one asked for what they need, it's hard for everyone to be happy.

As for during a spanking, it's fun to see if I can spank her as hard as she asks for. I like it when she asks for worse...I don't feel obligated to do it always, but it can be fun to see if I can actually spank as well as she wants. The couple times I've been under her hand, I've been compelled to ask for more...didn't quite get it as bad as I was hoping, I have to say, but she did oblige in picking up the intensity for me.

In either case, I think it's just part of the healthy communication between a couple, not unlike one partner asking for sex or a hug. Depending on the details (are the spankings for the spanker's pleasure, or the spankee's? Is this playtime, or punishment?) is where the gray area is. I think the spankee should always feel free to ask, but not necessarily expect to be accomodated. A big chunk of the spanking experience is not being in total control.

Thanks to Bonnie for another great topic!

---Him